Yes, yes, I know, where have you been without my wisdom to guide you? How have you coped without my thoughts and musings to give you the direction you so desperately need?
It was a calculated gesture, people. I had hoped to drive you to despair and suicide. Save me the bother of dispatching you myself when the sentence of death is passed over this benighted world. Still, I'm back now. Just a brief post today, something to get the old creative juices oozing (since my heart stopped years ago, I don't think anything within me has ever flowed as such). A few comments on prominent news, just to ease us back into the mood for Jusssssticcccce.
Sony's use of root kits as an anti-piracy measure. Sony, Sony, Sony; you're thinking about this the wrong way. Those likely to pirate your discs are likely to do it again. Furthermore, they're likely to find alternative means even if their computers are infected by your malware. Still, you've swallowed your pride and admitted you were wrong, and that's very big of you. May I humbly suggest you affix a small mine to each of your discs? The act of sealing them within their boxes will depress the trigger and the act of opening them again will release it. Bang. One pirate justly executed, and at no harm to your sales. Think on!
Blair's Commons defeat: Ninety days detention without charge? You wanted the Police to be able to detain terror suspects without charge for ninety days? No wonder the other parties and your own back-benchers voted against it! That's just the kind of wishy-washy pinko-liberal attitude that I've come to despise on this world. Whatever happened to summary executions? Oh, right. We've tried that, haven't we? Even at point-blank range your armed officers missed twice. And to think you wish to introduce mandatory identity cards as a form of crime prevention too. You don't see it, do you? The fact that people walk openly in the streets, breathing the air, reproducing like there was no tomorrow, is all the evidence you need of their guilt. What they need is execution for their various misdemeanours -- they're all guilty of something; you don't need to worry about them not wearing their name badges!
Actually, no, I'm being too harsh. Let's not overwhelm you with negatives, Tony. Let's come up with a solution. A third way. You'd like that. How about this: push through the identity legislation, but don't actually implement the means to give people this identification. Don't even tell them where it is. Institute a penalty of summary execution for anyone found without these identity papers.
I amaze myself sometimes.